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Inside the Haunted House of Money

As we enter the first day of October we feel the cool breeze of Autumn flowing in coupled with anticipation for the fiery sunset colored leaves spread across forests of the temperate climate zones. Our imaginations also turn to pumpkin pies and Halloween costumes. Old episodes of Friday the 13th are rerun on tv and new horror movies are released in the cinemas.

One of the most popular things to do during Halloween is tour haunted houses and scream when zombies breakthrough the walls. Adults are scared back into being little children again and new family bonds born through fear and laughter are forged.

In honor of Halloween we’re going to tell you about a haunted house filled with zombies except this story is true.

In many cultures throughout Africa and the Caribbean, zombies are very real. Belief systems in those cultures are strong and religious traditions that utilize voodoo are taken seriously. A zombie is, in simple terms, someone (or something) that has died and returned from the dead with the caveat that the zombie never seems to exhibit the same human qualities that were familiar pre-mortem.

In Africa there is a real haunted house filled with zombies, it’s called the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe. In this house, through a particularly vile type of witchcraft that casts spells via a printing press, money has died a million brutal deaths only to be resurrected over and over again. Not surprisingly, this has created a real life financial living Hell.

A little over ten years ago Zimbabwe experienced some of the worst hyperinflation ever recorded. The exact stats are difficult to come by because the government stopped publishing the numbers but estimates suggest that, at the peak, month over month, inflation was skyrocketing at nearly 80 billion percent!! In fact inflation got so bad that the Haunted House of money had to print 100 trillion dollar bills and those bills were worth less than the paper they were printed on. Now that’s scary!

In 2015, Zimbabwe decided enough was enough and the only way to kill the zombie currency was to abandon it completely. And so they did. The entire country switched to the U.S. dollar. It would be nice if that was the end of the story but as we know, just like the movies zombies don’t die so quickly. In June of this year, the Haunted House of Money under a new order of voodoo priests decided to ban all foreign currencies and to resurrect, once again, the Zimbabwe zombie dollar. In less than 30 days, inflation jumped to 175% as fears of a new zombie apocalypse gripped citizens.

In the West, we tend to think of zombies, voodoo, and hyperinflation as being reserved for banana republics in Africa and Latin America but history says otherwise. History says that in the entire course of human civilization paper currencies with nothing backing them except the decrees of high priests have always died and been resurrected over and over again. Each time this happens the original money is less recognizable and more devastating to the villagers.

The antidote to zombies is to burn down the haunted houses, put the voodoo soothsayers on trial, and return to a gold standard.

Gold is immutable, it is timeless. Unlike zombie paper money that dies and comes back to life, gold never dies and never changes. Gold always maintains its qualities as a store of value, unit of account and medium of exchange no matter what is happening in the world.

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